Not For Me, Thanks

Hi, I’m Wilms—Sober and Saying “Not For Me, Thanks.”

Before you go any further — trigger warning.
This blog contains personal reflections, lived experiences, and mental health content that may be emotionally triggering for some readers.

This space is my personal release. It’s taken a lot for me to put this online, and I’m doing it to hold myself accountable. If my words help you — brilliant. That’s a bonus. But just so we’re clear: I’m not a therapist. I’m not here to guide or fix anyone. I’m still very much a work in progress.

You might read things here that resonate deeply. Or you might feel challenged, unsettled, or even a bit called out. That’s not my intention — but this is my space. If something I write offends you, you’re welcome to close the tab and move on. No hard feelings.

However — and I say this with love — if you leave a comment that’s cruel, shaming, or just plain trollish?
I will roast you. Or remove you. Possibly both.

Open-hearted dialogue? Yes please.
Toxic nonsense? Not for me, thanks.

Wilms x

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Not my first. Will be the last.

On 27.2.25, I marked/ celebrated 365 days no more alcohol/sober/dry/whatever you want to call it.

I didn’t pour vodka on cornflakes. And if you did, nooooo judgement from me. For me it was no moderation. None what so ever. Plus, a lot of stupid and quite frankly, dangerous behaviour attached to it.

So here we are.

A full year. No wine or my then favourite, prosecco. No rum. No hangovers. Just me—raw, real, and still standing. I didn’t get here through any programs, fancy or otherwise. No sober coaches. I did this solo. One brutal Friday night, each seeming more brutal than the last. I questioned myself, asking, “Why am I even doing this?” But here’s the thing—I did it. It’s not over. This is one in a long series of milestones. Now, I’m here to share my journey. To lay bare my soul.

There’s no hero here. Feeling too ashamed to go to a group (I did once, that make get a post). That one meeting just wasn’t for me. I knew I was going to do this, just meant doing it differently. I did online classes. I still listen to podcasts. Some by people in recovery. Some by therapists. Some actively fighting the urge. I read. I am doing the work. It will continue to be part of my future.

Something changed (for good) in February 2024. Something just make no more sense. Drinking. So I stopped. When I stopped I realised I was using to overcome, surpress, ignore other things.

For me, alcohol wasn’t just about the buzz, although that absolutely was a big part. It was a band-aid for trauma, shyness, and a deep-rooted sense of “never good enough.” Booze made me brave. It masked the pain, the anxiety, and the parts of me I was too scared to face. But it also silenced me. It kept me small. It numbed not just the bad but the good too.

“Not For Me, Thanks” isn’t just about turning down alcohol. It’s about saying no to anything that doesn’t serve me anymore. This includes toxic family ties, numbing behaviors, and outdated stories I’ve told myself about who I am. You are welcome to join me here. Be aware, I’m not a guru. Not going to suggest. Just share.

Whether you’re sober, sober-curious, or just here for the chaos, welcome and thank you.