I’ve sporadically done this before. When I was pregnant. When I was really heavily into sports, running, CrossFit. See – that’s the issue, right there. I’ve done it multiple times and clearly never successfully.
Alcohol was a lifeline and a companion. After all, when you achieve something, like that first competition, even having a child – alcohol felt richly deserved. It wasn’t simply for marking celebratory occasions, oh no no.
A long week – glass of wine. An argument with partner – glass of wine. A break up – bottle of wine. Someone needs to let off steam. It is you, me, or them? Who cares! A round of shots and wine to kick things off.
Cptsd – not for here – dampened by wine, obliterated by spirits. Temporarily at least.
Deciding to give up addictions – is not taken lightly. I was, looking back, maybe a little blasé. Would I do things differently though? Probably not, no. I’m earning my stripes. I am stronger than before. I will not be defeated.
It’s a longer road for me this time. I am sure. A longer road that looks much brighter and full of redemption, self-care, and love.
Not For Me, Thanks 
Leave a comment